star-tripping

"There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing. (They hang there, the stars, like notes on a page of music, free-form verse, silent mysteries swirling in the blue like jazz.) And as I lay there, it occurred to me that God is up there somewhere. Of course, I had always known He was, but this time I felt it, I realized it, the way a person realizes they are hungry or thirsty. The knowledge of God seeped out of my brain and into my heart."


I love the stars.

Not only are they pretty and sparkly- I love anything pretty and sparkly, but they make me my heart want to burst. I saw 5 shooting stars Saturday night; FIVE! How ridiculous is that? I'd only seen one before. I think that stars are there to send us the message that we're not alone and that God is with us. It's terribly ironic that they can be seen the least in big cities where that message needs to be heard the most. But this past weekend I spent on the eastern shore I could see and hear that message loud and clear.

God is working in many mysterious ways in my life, and even though I don't like all of them, I have faith in Romans 8:28. This year is going to change me; I know it and I can feel it in my bones. I am best-friendless till Christmas (thanks Michigan), boy-less, and have all these beautiful, strong-hearted girls looking to me for wisdom. It's hard not to feel alone when there are times when I just don't fit. I ache for a shining, clueless, happy, and lovely boy. He is my grilled cheese sandwich: my comfort food, my happy place, my guilty pleasure, and weakness all in one. It's a struggle to choose not to find my identity in these things, but in my creator. I may not know where I'm going, but I love the one who is leading. And with 5 shooting stars, I was reminded he loves me more than I can ever understand. I am not alone, nor will I ever be alone.

So, God, it's not like I can send you 5 shooting stars back, but that doesn't even matter. My heart is enough for you. Thank you Thank you Thank you for that x infinity.